NEWPORT — Alan Kemp of Parker Ave spent the week making amends with disappointed family, friends, and neighbors after “sneaking” off Aquidneck Island to get Chick-fil-A. “It was a moment of terrible weakness and selfishness, and I regret it with every fiber of my being. I don’t know what waffled more—me, or those delicious fries,” Kemp said, acknowledging he had already used his one permitted off-island excursion back in 2018 to attend WaterFire.
“You never think it can happen to you, and then boom—you find yourself brushing shoulders with people who can’t appreciate a sea breeze.” Kemp plans to recommit to becoming a True Newporter, but first he wants to take advantage of his ostracized position by exploring Rhode Island’s other offerings. “I’ve heard great things about Trader Joe’s.”