NEWPORT — Locals and tourists alike expressed relief this week after authorities announced the arrest of a man accused of licking the bronze feet on Newport’s popular “Feet and Wave” sculpture. The Newport Public Decency Task Force had reportedly monitored the individual for six months, “waiting for the right opportunity.”
Task Force spokesperson Colleen Merriweather said: “We pride ourselves on maintaining a family-friendly environment, and this type of behavior sends the wrong message to visitors and residents alike. Please take your foot fetish somewhere it is welcome, like Bristol.”
The victory was short-lived. A judge dismissed the case with prejudice minutes after the arraignment, noting that the man had not broken any actual laws and that “licking public art, while unsettling, is not a criminal offense in the State of Rhode Island.”
Despite the dismissal, city officials remain confident. “This was a moral victory” Merriweather said. “And worth the $600,000 spent on the operation, not including what it will cost to settle the lawsuit.”
Not everyone agrees. Brenda Callahan of the Commerce Committee expressed concern. “Newport should not be in the business of kink-shaming.” She added that “An adult spanking league has been eyeing Newport for their annual convention, and now that’s in jeopardy. This whole operation smacks of government overreach.”